Alive & Well

My name is Dave, thinking is heavily endorsed...




All stories and anecdotes displayed are artistic interpretations of nonfictional experiences and are property of © David R. Richardson III. All rights reserved.

I am not after anything. My search cannot be limited to any singular idea, let alone be traced by any particular train of thought. I know that we must never let ourselves drift too far from the boundaries we’ve set. But how are we to know our direction, if all we know is falling?

This is not the previous. It is not some fabrication of perpetual demise in which I constantly self destruct, and thrust myself into a light which I have wished to extinguish for so long. I flicker in and out of consciousness, and rebirth after rebirth I have gazed into that void within my mind. The darkness which looms deep within me will never haunt me as much as my failed attempts to make some sense. Those thoughts are out of line, triggered by some infernal desire to spew out every obscene remark and disgust for the hatred and disdain that has inhabited my beloved coastlines. The same coastlines which harbor my shipwrecks, its castaways, and the all too familiar subtleties which once made everything whole…

And just like that…

the darkness is evident…

I am gasping for air, rising from the depths of the never ending somewhere I’ve declared home. I’ve strained myself along the way, brushed the shoulders of many, and extended my hand to those I wished to believe in.

But my fingertips go numb, now there is no touch, for the feeling has gone away. Drifting within a whirl that has dragged all emotion with it. Then emptiness was conceived, and dragged down along a steep hallway. A dark hallway. Flung across my back like a child to his father, wide eyed and gripping tighter as we extend our invitation further down that corridor. The only road I have ever known, the only words I will ever speak, the only sensation I will ever feel.

As I lumber down this passageway, blindly delving into the unknown, I feel myself give in. I slowly slouch over to my knees, giving myself to those insecurities and false hopes. I am blank, my eyes shut. And as I am near the end, the end is no more…I feel a sudden warmth, and a hint of grace surrounds me.

…I release into the current. We stare at the stars on my ceiling, as my fingertips brush across your shoulder. I leave a small trace of myself over every inch of your body, fingerprints laced across your skin, as  your pores now sing out in unison with every touch. Goosebumps release themselves delicately across your arms, systematically as if they are directing your mind to feel something you’ve long forgotten. Moments I cannot keep, and moments I wish to have always. You are etched in my mind, captivating me within time and space. The uncertainty which has haunted me is no more, although it still resides within me. And now I know this is not a distraction, but a definitive message. It calls my name, and pleads for one thing…

Pay mind to the wholeness in which you feel, and the beauty in all you’ve found. Close your eyes to see, as your mind is now at ease, because the beating of your heart now rests in its rightful place..

…For now, the darkness is gone.

Until the time comes to reach up and gasp for that breathe of air, I will be silently plotting my next move. Inching towards something I haven’t been so sure about, and in that I have let myself become a living parasite. Yes, this world is vast, yes we are selfish, yes we are striving for something more.

Oh how the world has lied to us.

The good in those who live bad, and the bad in those who live well. The societal manuscripts daring us to break as we sit, perched on our doorsteps. Those doorsteps that have become all too familiar, which makes it all the more difficult to flea. 

Individuals, people, millions, billions. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days.

Told and forced to drive themselves into a race they know they cannot win. In that I say, flee from the path, for we have more to provide outside of the lanes we trek. And the more distant we become, the greater the chances we find ourselves. What we seek may not be in the search at all, but what rests beyond it. 

In brief, we silently close the blinds on this conversation. With every breath we feel slighted, as the tension intensifies between heart and mind. We dance around the idea that each word was carefully crafted, fine tuned, and placed upon a perfect melody. A melody so soft, so sweet, that we lose ourselves. Lost, and spiritually engulfed in a fire that burns so bright, and for so long, that a douse of water could never bring an end to its light. And as that flame burns, we hold no regard for the wick in which it torments. And then we realize, it’s not the strength of the fire which is ignited, it is the foundation which carries the flame.

As the fire dies, they dance, facing the demons of the night, parading around like maniacs of a misunderstood cult of misfits. They make sure their motives are calculated and sure, as they exercise their inalienable right to coexist with their universe. A universe so vast and calm, that a crystal ocean holds no weight to it’s existence. A place in which limitation and time are spoken of as myth and fable. Suspended in thought, and lost inside. So lost that they wish not to be found. Mouths and eyes are twisted at the tongue, while desire and hope are dying at the hands of fate.

Identity Crisis

I feel as though it has become too difficult to judge most things in today’s society. There are so many moving parts in these situations, and I personally cannot pledge allegiance to any side. I am on the side of what is right, not what is wrong. But I feel as though I must speak on the discrepancies between the eyes and minds of both civilians, and police officers.

After viewing a “police brutality” compilation video It became alarming to me (actually it didn’t) that so many can be quick to judge and point the finger based upon a video clip. If one-to-two minute long cell phone videos were evidence enough, there would be no trial, these investigations wouldn’t take as long. Yes, there are some instances in which the video can tell all, and those are pertinent to the success of the cases in which they are involved in. But shouldn’t we take into account what has gone on before or after that minute or so window in which the actions are captured? As a filmmaker I follow a simple rule, “Using your lens, only show the audience what you want them to see”. This couldn’t be any more true, as we only perceive what is shown through the lens, and are quick to use that as a crutch to defend what is right or wrong. However, how do we really know what has occurred prior to the rolling cell phone cameras? What if the individual being approached by the officer has a previous history of violence, has just mugged someone, and has been said to be carrying a weapon. Now you are the police officer responding to this call, and being given this initial information, this most certainly changes your scope on the whole ordeal. You are now dealing with an individual who could potentially bring harm to you, and prevent you from going home to your family. Once that individual begins to act volatile, or even reaches into his back pocket will you take the risk, and ease up? Or are you going to protect yourself at all costs? From that point on, all we see is a video of a man reaching in his pocket, and a police officer firing his weapon. This individual could be reaching for a gun, or a wallet, either way it can help us to understand why the officer discharged his weapon.

In retrospect, this should never give a human being the right to shoot and kill another human being. Take the above situation and flip it, you are now a man walking down the street from your girlfriends/grandmothers/etc. You are approached violently by officers because you fit the previously depicted profile they are responding to, and see you as a threat. You are confused, and frustrated. An officer approaches you, and as you get to your knees, he aggressively drags you to the floor as 3-4 other officers bury their hands, knees, and feet into your body. First words, “DON’T RESIST!” Your tense body tries not to as a knee is buried into your neck, but you can’t help but wonder, “What is going on?” The officer applying the cuffs twists your wrist the wrong way, and your arms and torso give a natural jerking reaction to try and ease the pain. Two phrases ring out, “STOP RESISTING!” “HE’S REACHING!”. In that moment an onslaught begins. You fit a profile, and out of fear for their own safety, no consideration is given on any level.  

This is geared towards the non-criminals who have been wrongfully detained, beaten, or even killed by a member of the police. The system has set us up to play the cat and mouse game. Is the safety of an officer, for the disregard of civilian rights and life a fair trade off? When you place two individuals in a struggle for their life, and you give one a badge, what is the other left with? He cannot struggle or question the “authority” otherwise he may risk being labeled as “resisting”, and become subject to being hit repeatedly or maybe even shot. He is helpless, and frustrated. All based upon assumptions and fear of the man with a badge. I thought we were taught growing up, that it was okay to say “No.” The system teaches us we can’t, and conceding is the “safest way”. If you feel as though something is wrong, shouldn’t you be able to defend yourself from it. And please note the context in which I said, DEFEND.

We are all flawed, even police officers. I like to believe that mostly everything is a judgement, spur of the moment call. And that judgement differs from officer to officer, as it does from person to person. I have been a subject of stereotyping, and a wrongful arrest. I’ve witnessed firsthand, the abuse of that authority. But I fall into a category just like any other police/civilian incident. The category of identification. We DON’T know all the facts, We hardly ever will know all the facts. If we search for the facts we may gain a better understanding. But as you do, be sure to formulate an unbiased, educated opinion and stand by it. At the end of the day we are all human beings, living day to day. There are good people, there are bad people. There are good cops, there are bad cops. Its an identification crisis that will unfortunately transcend generations to come. Some more compassion in our world can help us all get by, with no harm done to one another. But in all reality, how can we truly overcome this together?

"Identification". What you see, or hear, is most certainly not always what you get in the eyes of ANY individual.

nomad-ca:

L.A. Concrete x Nomad

10.2013

nomad-ca:

Nomad x Pasadena Music Festival (2013)

Because

This is far too interesting, and we are far too intricate to escape the unknown. Hand in mind and heart in hand, this fall is all we know.

nomad-ca.tumblr.com

Anonymous asked: dick foo are you married!?!

haha to my creative work, yes.

Followers and Friends, here is the finished music video I had the opportunity to work on a while back. I was reluctant to do some directing, and be the main camera op on set. Our cast and crew did a wonderful job, please pass it on and share our love for visual storytelling!

Memory Bank,

there was this young woman I met. Maybe two years ago. Celluloid lust brought us in distant contact, then aligned our eyes and minds all at once. A slow, gradual understanding erupted from nowhere. A friend, a companion. Standing there together through the years of our lives in which we were lost. Thoughts mangled in the ivory vines of life and maturity. Struggling to find a fresh breath of air in a world drowning us beneath the murky waters of conformity. The thought of our moments are nostalgic and refreshing. A friendship unlike any I had ever encountered. Discussions containing no limits. Imaginations knowing no boundaries. Free souls flowing for an eternity. A friend. A real friend. A mutual understanding. A pair of minds on par with one another. Not a girl who stole my heart, but one who stole my mind.

two lovers on a hotel bed. Intertwined and aroused. Adding enough body language to make the tongue jealous. We don’t care to think, at all. At least most of us sit here telling ourselves and everyone around them that everything is going to be okay. We are going to succeed in our dreams, we will reach our goals, we will fall in love, we will die happy. We couldn’t be any further from the truth. But of course, we feel the need to justify every action, every word, and every thought. I am not the least bit heart broken, I am in fact falling in love. Although I feel mangled and twisted at times, I’ve learned that falling is what we have learned to embrace. I live and die by the notion that, “everyone you love, have loved, or care(d) for, will eventually hurt you in some way or another”. However grim and distasteful this may seem, it is a reality we must face. No justification, just a plain fact. This doesn’t stop any of us from moving forward, and it shouldn’t. We put the past away, work towards a better future, and maintain freedom and peace within the present.

We are all living lives stolen from memories and wishes we want to become, only to find that we are going everywhere all at once.

Anonymous asked: are you single??

Nope.